Yesterday I had a bad day. I didn’t feel well physically and I was down in the dumps mentally. Depression seems to be my default setting.
I slept a lot and that’s about all. Of course, I was mad at myself for doing nothing. It’s odd that I can’t give myself a break even when I don’t feel well.
I have to go get a test run, so of course, I think I’m feeling better.
This is what depression does. It fights against you all the time. Decisions are hard to make. I have trouble contacting my friends because, I don’t want to bug them. You get overwhelmed easily.
I go along with people to do things and I have a great time. I just don’t want to come up with the ideas or decide where to eat. Food is fuel and I can eat most anything. Except liver, oh no, not me.
Cooking is hard. Too much work, I guess.
I do always make my bed. I had to do that everyday in the Asthmatic Home and it became a habit. I even make hospital corners.
I get the part where you don’t want to do things. Doing things is very hard to do with depression.
I am what they call a “smiling depressive”. I can smile about anything and I have a wicked sense of humor. In this I am lucky because I do like to laugh and I can find the humor in situations. Most of my friends make me laugh and as soon as they call I smile and get ready to laugh at something. I can usually tell right away if it’s not a laughing call.
Maybe as I get older things get easier to do. Naw, that’s not true!
Maybe they just get easier to manage.
I can help other people do things easier than I can do things for myself.
I do stay curious and I love animals and nature. That’s a good thing.
Find something you love and get curious about it. Look it up and learn more.
Only you can learn ways to help yourself. Don’t rely on other people to do everything for you. They get tired, too.
Sometimes, I wish things could be different in my life. But, it can’t. This is the life I was given and I have to work at getting through it. I made it this far so I guess I’m going the rest of the way.
Depression is a push me pull me life style. It’s not easy, but, when I look at other people’s lives their lives are just as hard.
If you just make your bed and brush your teeth you are doing great on some days! NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Read another blog post….
Go to the market pages and if you buy anything from that seller, I could get a little money for carrying it on my blog.
HAVE FUN …. and NEVER GIVE UP on you!!!!!