After all this time, I can still end up in the Crapper. You feel like crap and all you want to do is sleep. You like to listen, but you don’t want to talk.
I messed up my medicine for a few days and landed here. I knew it was coming, it’s been creeping up slowly for weeks. Then I mess up taking my medicine. Crap happens. It’s not too bad as long as everyone flushes.
After all my years I have learned to wait it out and take my medicine on time. I have chronic depression and you might only have clinical depression. You will get over it soon and maybe never have it again. I have learned to wait it out. You get better at it as the years go on. I can think of many other diseases that I would rather not have. So, I feel blessed in a lot of ways.
That sounds very odd, I know. But, if you think about it, you will realize that you can feel blessed too. I have no idea why we have to go thru the things we do. Our job is to deal with it and try to live a good life. This is why we think, why me! There is no answer to that question right now. But, I do know that with the effort we can get through it. I am living proof and so are thousands of other people.
I must say that it was easier to get through it when I was working. You have a set routine then and you can just do it and go to work. Now, I have to remind myself to brush my teeth and take my meds. But, I also think that I can get thru bouts in the Crapper better than I used to. It is harder to motivate but, you can leave somethings for later and do the things that have to be done. And I get much better sleep than usual! So there is an upside.
It can seem overwhelming.
So, take your medicine and do the best you can. Before you know it you’re on the upside again. Hang in there!!!!
