Let me tell you what freaks people out. Most people, even close friends, have no idea what I go through in my head.
Notice the beauty!
My wires don’t connect right or the gremlins are running helter- skelter in there. When people ask me what it’s like to be depressed all the time, I just smile. (I do love to laugh!) Then I get serious and tell them.
It’s not fun. I have bad times and good times.
My brain does not think like most other brains. Like when people look outside and say “What a beautiful day!”. My brain says “What a beautiful day! It’s a good day to die”. It is all automatic and very quick. I have learned to ignore the last part and just go with the first part.
Censoring your thoughts is one of the things you have to learn with depression. You have to or it will eat you whole.
Yes, I have those times when everything is black. It’s like being in a deep well where the only light is at the top and very far away.
I tell myself, I will get out of this! I have had to go to work like that and act “normal”. Sometimes it can take weeks to get out. Wells are deep and dark. I have claustrophobia!!! Positive talk with your head and taking control is your only option. I will not lie, it is very hard!!
Could it be worse? Yes. You could be bi-polar. That one scares me and if you think or someone else thinks you are bi-polar, please, please get help. The ups and downs of that one can beat you to a pulp!
Train your head to say, we will get thru this. All day long if you have to. We will get thru this and it will be fine. Don’t give up!! Be a fighter.
I think it is very weird that we have to fight with ourselves in our own brain. I will make it a habit to be happy!!
When you can – find a productive way to get out of your head. Don’t try skipping and dancing! I know some of you want too! You just came through a battle!
Just go outside and look at the color of the grass and marvel at the blue of the sky.
If you have a family, look at them and think, Wow, I made it!! Now you can smile.